You know what’s sexier than a jade roller and a 10-step skincare routine? A regulated nervous system.

Yes, really. Stick with me.

We’ve been sold the glossy version of self-care: candles, bath salts, maybe an overpriced adaptogen latte… those things can help support you in the moment, but self-care is deeper than that. Honestly, if your inner world is running on caffeine, cortisol, and existential dread, all the gua sha tools in the world won’t help. What will? Nervous system health.

So let’s dig in.

What is the nervous system anyway?woman breathing or meditating

Your nervous system is your body’s command centre. It’s the intricate network of neurons and fibers that processes information, sends signals, and helps you navigate… well, everything. From breathing and digestion to decision-making and emotional regulation.

It has two main branches that you want to know:

  • The sympathetic nervous system aka your inner warrior. It gets you ready for action. It’s the system that kicks in when you’re hustling for a deadline or running late to a flight. Think: heart racing, breath shallow, muscles tense. Great for short bursts. Not so great when you live there 24/7.
  • The parasympathetic nervous system this is your inner monk. It’s all about rest, digestion, and repair. It’s what kicks in when you feel safe, grounded, and maybe a little sleepy after a big lunch.

In an ideal world, you’d flow between these two states like a nervous system ninja. Activate when needed. Recover fully after. But in today’s always-on culture? Most of us are stuck in sympathetic overdrive.

What happens when your nervous system is dysregulated?

I know this one intimately.

In 2023, I hit burnout hard. And the irony? I didn’t even see it coming.

Picture this: I was living on a tropical island, supposedly “living the dream.” But the reality? Extreme isolation. Subtle hostility. A constant sense of not belonging. My social world collapsed. My identity blurred. I poured myself into work, non-stop, as my escape hatch. My way of coping.

And slowly, internally, my system began to short-circuit.

Chronic fatigue. Brain fog. Anxiety on speed dial. Fainting spells. Skin flare-ups. Either emotionally flat or snapping at the smallest thing. My cycle vanished. It felt like no amount of sleep or supplements could fix it. Spoiler: they didn’t.

Even without going to that extreme, this is what a dysregulated nervous system can do. It warps your perception. It hijacks your body. You may:

  • Overreact to small triggers
  • Feel emotionally flat or hyper-reactive
  • Experience chronic fatigue
  • Struggle with sleep, digestion, and even hormonal balance
  • Feel wired but tired like your foot’s on the gas and brake at once

When your nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight or freeze, your body forgets how to be.

So what does a balanced nervous system feel like?

In a word: resilient.

With a healthy nervous system, you’re flexible. You can rise to the occasion when needed, and come back down when it’s over. You’re calm in chaos. Present in pleasure. Creative. Clear. Connected.

You don’t need three hours of yoga or a silent retreat in Bali to get there. But you do need to rethink what self-care really means.

Self-care isn’t about escape. It’s about regulation.

Real self-care is less about bubble baths and more about biology. It’s the daily choices that help your system come back into balance.

Because here’s the kicker: your nervous system is your baseline. When it’s regulated, everything improves: your mood, energy, digestion, relationships, even how your skin glows. When it’s not, no amount of green juice will save you…sorry.

So if we redefine self-care as “what supports your return to balance,” then nervous system health isn’t just part of self-care, it’s the foundation.

Okay, but how do we support it without quitting our jobs or moving to the mountains?

Here’s the good news: micro-habits, big impact. Quickfire tips you can actually do, even on your busiest day:

  1. Heart Coherence Breathing: 3-5 minutes of slow breathing (5-count inhale, 5-count exhale), focusing on your heart space. It’s science-backed and shifts you into parasympathetic.
  2. Nature, Sans Screen: Get outside. No phone. Ideally, touch grass. Literally. Barefoot if possible. Let your senses recalibrate.
  3. Cold Face Plunge: Splash cold water on your face or use an ice pack on your cheeks, in moments of acute stress or overwhelm or when you’re spiraling in your head. And no, you don’t need an at-home ice bath (unless you’re secretly Wim Hof). A bowl of cold water or frozen peas will do the trick.
  4. Humming or Chanting: Sound vibrations activate the vagus nerve. Plus, it’s hard to hum and be in panic mode at the same time. Wanna go fancy? Check Bhramari Pranayama.
  5. Body Squeeze: Gently tense and release different muscle groups. It helps discharge stuck stress.
  6. Digital Sunset: Set a hard stop for screens at least 30 minutes before bed. Your nervous system will thank you.
  7. One-Minute Check-Ins: Pause during your day and ask: “What am I feeling? What do I need?” Awareness is half the regulation battle.
  8. Movement Snacks: Not workouts. Just natural, intuitive movement. Stretching. Shaking. Dancing in your kitchen counts.
  9. Warm Touch: A hand on your heart or a hug (even self-hug) releases oxytocin and calms the system.
  10. Reclaim Your Exhale: Long, slow exhales signal safety. Try 4-count inhale, 6-count exhale.

Here’s where it gets wild: your nervous system speaks even when you don’t.

Your body emits frequencies. Not in a woo-woo way but literally, through electromagnetic fields. Others can feel you.

When your nervous system is calm, it creates safety in the room. Your kids pick up on it. Your team does. Your partner does. Regulated people regulate people.

You become a tuning fork for peace. A grounded lighthouse in the storm. That’s not just self-care. That’s social care. World care.

So the next time someone says, “You’re glowing,” it might not be your serum. It might be your system.

In conclusion?

Forget perfect. Aim for regulated.

True self-care isn’t about adding more. It’s about creating the inner conditions where less is enough. Because when your nervous system is well, you don’t need to chase calm. You are calm.

And that, my friend, is the new self-care.

Written by Alice Geoffroy, The Holistic Success Coach | Neuroscience, Somatics & Energetics Expert.